Busting the “Balance” Myths Once and For All

By Aprille Trupiano, International Expert on Leadership

I believe with every part of my being that as a millennial woman, you can accomplish everything you set your sights on achieving. A thriving business, a healthy, loving family, great relationships – whatever you want. I also believe it takes something, day by day, to make it a reality. There are some myths we have to break down, however, in order to understand just how to do that.

>> Myth #1: You can find “balance” if you work at it or do it “right”.<< Balance my apple bottom…jeans! Simply put, there is no such thing as balance in human existence. Balance exists in the Universe, in nature – but those things have been created by a power much, much more potent than you and me. In human beings, there is no realistic way to consistently have balance. To expect that is setting ourselves up for imminent failure.

Truth: You can find equilibrium.

Consider that balance in every area would have our lives be static. Imagine an old fashioned scale with the dish on each side. If it’s in complete balance and we’ve done an ideal job of getting just the right amount of counterbalance on each side, it doesn’t swing or sway. Nearly impossible to sustain.

Equilibrium, on the other hand is realistic and attainable. Equilibrium can be defined as a state of adjustment between opposing or conflicting influences. You have opposing or conflicting influences all day long. Take an early morning meeting or take the kids to school? Meet that client deadline or meet your mother for lunch? Work late and get a jumpstart on tomorrow’s schedule or work on an impromptu romantic dinner for you and your Honey? Exercise your managerial expertise for an extra hour or exercise your body and spirit? Conflicting influences. All day long.

Doesn’t “trying” to balance life and work make you feel anxious (“Am I doing it right?”), nervous (“Can I do it?”), guilty (“Is everyone getting what they need in just the right amounts?”) and worn out (“What’s the point?”). Remedy: Stop seeking that elusive balance and start putting your efforts into handling the constant ebb and flow of equilibrium in the best way possible,

When you realize that you’ll never have life and work in perfect balance, you’ll release those unworkable expectations you have of yourself. When you allow for the flux of rhythm in your life and work, you’ll relieve much of the stress, pressure, guilt you feel about whether you’re doing enough or giving enough.

>>Myth #2: You can perform “time management” to be productive.<< Really? I’d like to see the pictograms for that. That’s like saying you can manage air. Time – and it’s passing – is beyond our control. What’s to manage? You get 24 hours – not one second more, nor one second less. It’s the same 24 hours that Mother Theresa, DaVinci, Einstein, Amelia Earhart and every person of great accomplishment has had since we first began measuring time.Truth: You can manage priorities.

Given that you only get those same 24 hours in each and every day and given that you cannot change how they pass, it’s critical that you become conscious of what you CAN manage to make the greatest use of every hour of every day that you get to spend. Don’t forget that you really do get to choose how to spend each second of your life. The most effective and impactful way to use them is to do what matters most in your life. This is how ordinary people have accomplished extraordinary things!

To powerfully manage how you use your time, begin by determining what your priorities are in your life and your business. This is where your heart meets the realities of your world. Even your “obligations” are based on where your heart feels you need to be. You actually determine your “obligations” by what you define as fundamental to living within your value system. You wouldn’t feel “obligated” to your business if you didn’t value accomplishment or financial security or work ethic. You wouldn’t feel “obligated” to your children if you didn’t value family or nurturing or love.

Start looking at what you value in life. When you create your schedule according to the priority of your values, (as opposed to circumstances and emergencies) choosing which things to do when comes easily and naturally. Choosing how much time to spend on each project or task becomes obvious. If you value “family”, make sure your family comes first in your schedule. If you value “independence”, make sure you put in time to be alone or with friends. If you value “health” or “fitness”, make sure you allow for time to make healthy meals or get to the gym regularly.

Remedy: Stop putting all your energy into finding a trick or technique to manage time and begin exerting more effort into making sure you’re working on what’s more important to you in your life and your work.

4 simple steps you can take each day to manage your priorities and tweak your equilibrium

1) Clearly define your priorities by discerning what you VALUE. Be certain it’s what YOU value – not your employer, not your friends or family members, not anyone but YOU. Make sure what you value is in your schedule. Manage your priorities.

2) Write out your next day’s task list each evening & mark each item with the value it serves. By doing this, you can easily see when your equilibrium is leaning toward one area or another. If it’s necessary to tip the scale a little, make up for it another day by adding activities and projects that will put focus back on other areas of your life. Remember this: you CAN have it all. Often, however, you can’t have it all at the same time. Manage your equilibrium.

3) Stop multitasking. It’s simply not effective or productive. This is when quality suffers and your guilt sensors sound off in your head. You know when you’re not giving something the full attention it deserves. Multitasking thwarts your integrity and you know you’re not giving all you’ve got. Stop doing that!

4) Check in at least once a month with yourself. This is crucial to making sure you feel what others call “balance”. See if your equilibrium is off by checking in on how much time and focus you’re giving to the priorities (values) in your life. If you find yourself off, designate actions to swing the equilibrium back in those important areas and get them into your calendar.

When you follow these simple steps, you’ll:

• Reignite your passion once you’re clear you’re focusing on what you consider vital to a successful life and business.

• Feel fulfilled in everything you do knowing that you are honoring what really matters most.

• Eliminate guilty feelings for concentrating on one thing as opposed to another when you realize what you’re doing in the moment is appropriately serving your values.

• Turn down those distractions that seem so attractive once you get the importance of keeping your promises – to everyone including yourself.

• Be productive and effective because what you’re working on will feel essential and urgent.

Aprille’s Mini Bio:

Aprille Trupiano, International Expert on Leadership, Speaker, Author is described by clients as being bold, high energy, vivacious and dedicated. She’s a published author working on her 2nd book, “Click! Leadership Secrets to Thrive in Your Business and Love Your Life” due out in Fall of 2011. An entrepreneur since the age of 20, Aprille has built enterprises, even growing them from the ground up intosixandsevenfigurebusinesses. Aprille’slivedintheUSandItaly,where she’s delivered training for private clients, small organizations, mid to large sized companies and governmental agencies. Her practical mix of how-to and high dose of inspiration leaves people empowered and effective. Her proven systems catapult clients to the extraordinary in their business and the miraculous in their life, where all their purest desires, their most intense passions are reborn. As they develop in their Vision, Leadership and Legacy, Aprille’s clients become fully engaged in their life and their inevitable success surfaces so they’re fully realized

as they are born to be and living their most passionate life!

Learn more about Aprille Trupiano at:

www.GetClickNow.com or reach out at Aprille@GetClickNow.com. Visit Aprille’s site and get your FREE eCourse “5 Mistakes Women Make from the Boardroom to the Bedroom”.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/aprille.trupiano

Twitter: www.twitter.com/aprilletrupiano

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/aprillet

A Message from Jaki ~ Thank you

“Don’t forget that you really do get to choose how to spend each second of your life.” That is so true, every single one of us gets the same 24 hours, it really is our choice how we spend them.

Thank you Aprille, I am having so much fun reading each blog! This really resonated .

In Gratitude :)

Simple Positive Steps You Can Take Now ~

In Gratitude

Jaki :)

 

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